Friday, 12 November 2010

Let it sink in

So, you've punished him, expended all that energy and ensured he has a sore bottom. What then? If you are like me, you don't want to let all that good work to go to waste.  I want it to sink in.  I always find making sure he doesn't rub his bottom immediately after makes sure he can't get rid of the sting but a period of reflection or what some call corner time makes a big difference.  Normally, I instruct him to stand with his nose against the wall and with his hands on his head for a period. This could be in the same room or outside the door.  I expect his bottom to be on show, typically with his pants at his ankles, if he has any. I place no time limit and a couple of times for longish periods. I will check in sometimes to make sure he doing it and if he has not followed my instructions, he gets punished.  If he has had some hard discipline and pushed his limits, I like to leave him alone for a while so he can let his real reactions come out. My experience has been that it gives me time to relax and him time to reflect on the emotions  he has felt.  When we then come together, we are more relaxed and can enjoy what happens after ;o)      

Thursday, 28 October 2010


Personally, I love seeing him walk around with some cute marks as a reminder! He must have been a very naughty boy to deserve these..

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Three strikes and your ouch!

I've decided... everytime I have to ask him to do something for the third time it's automatically three stripes on his bottom! Maybe the coffee cups will be cleared away next time!

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

General Thoughts

I thought I'd share a few things that ran through my mind on the way home from the supermarket... I was thinking about what I would tell someone starting out on this journey to help them reduce any potential feelings of insecurity:
  • Confidence is sexy - the more positive you are, the more fun you'll have.  You both want to explore this, so enjoy it and don't keep apologising.  There is nothing more unsexy than someone constantly saying sorry. Don't forget, he is feeling apprehensive too and he will feed off your energy.
  • Practice particularly your aim if it's not too hot.  Mine wasn't to start with.  The poor old cushions had to suffer me learning how to use some of the implements.  Their sacrifice wasn't in vain though, my partners bottom sports very accurate marks.
  • Talking of bottoms, they are very resiliant and can take a lot more punishment than you imagine.  Generally, a good warm up is needed unless he's been really naughty. The warm up reduces marking which can also be helped by giving some of the punishment over his clothes. Don't hit the same spot to often and make sure you don't break the skin.
  • If you are punishing as opposed to playing, use firm strokes.  In my experience, you will get more respect if you do.  As a general rule, if he's making the right noises and struggling to hold position, we are on the right track.  Don't slacken off on the firmness of the strokes. Increase them and vary them.  I always slip a couple of real stingers in because I can. The last one is always the hardest and he knows the penalty for breaking the rules on this one.  
  • Always do what you say you are going to do.  Nothing undermines your ability to discipline more than not carrying out what you say you will. 
I'm quite getting to enjoy these moments of reflection :o)

He'll learn

Play or punish?

There should be a difference, if only to provide some variety.  The tone will be different and potentially the level of the discipline may change depending on the scenario.  Play discipline is typically more sensual and light hearted. A few taps here, a few taps there. More touchy feely. The language used is likely to be more playful. Punishment discipline is typically much firmer and stricter. Almost certainly a little more detached, which you may feel isn't so romantic. However, don't automatically assume punishment is not as sexy or erotic, if not more so.  It helps to understand what pushes his buttons as well as yours.  If punishment is your intention, it's reasonable to think it's not about pushing his buttons, more punishing his bottom.  Quite right! I've had the full range. For some partners, a gentle spanking over the knee was all that was needed.  Others needed their bottoms thrashed until a few tears appeared, which is surprisingly more erotic than I thought it would be, but thats another story. Many responded to both. Everyone is different.  I went through a phase of trying to read things into what they liked but it's ultimately a waste of energy.  My advice is don't think about it to much, just go with whatever approach works.         

Monday, 25 October 2010


Sometimes with partners there is a need to give a warning that they could be subject to some discipline.  I used to do this verbally but it got tiring saying it all the time, so, I devised a useful system.  I bought my partner a pair of school shorts of the internet.  He had a thing for school uniforms.  I informed him that when he was wearing his school shorts he was at risk of school discipline.  I would tell him when he could wear them and if he failed to do something he was asked to do whilst in shorts, I was allowed to immediately thrash his bottom.  This wasn't school play. If he did what he was asked to do, there might be no consequence. If he chose to put his shorts on without my instruction, he had to keep them on for a minimum of two hours and take the consequences thereof.  As it was his choice to put them on, there was a buyout clause of six of the best with the cane touching his toes.  It was a bit of a shock for him the first time as I decided to reinforce the lesson quickly when he failed to clear the tea mugs like I'd asked him. In case he thought I was joking, I immediately sent him to get the cane and when he returned, I gave him four hard strokes bent over a chair, which turned into seven when he kept taking his hands off the place I'd told him to keep them. It's suprising how much quicker all the jobs got done after a few reminders.

I've put a couple of pictures up to show the consequences of failure!!