Play or punish?

There should be a difference, if only to provide some variety.  The tone will be different and potentially the level of the discipline may change depending on the scenario.  Play discipline is typically more sensual and light hearted. A few taps here, a few taps there. More touchy feely. The language used is likely to be more playful. Punishment discipline is typically much firmer and stricter. Almost certainly a little more detached, which you may feel isn't so romantic. However, don't automatically assume punishment is not as sexy or erotic, if not more so.  It helps to understand what pushes his buttons as well as yours.  If punishment is your intention, it's reasonable to think it's not about pushing his buttons, more punishing his bottom.  Quite right! I've had the full range. For some partners, a gentle spanking over the knee was all that was needed.  Others needed their bottoms thrashed until a few tears appeared, which is surprisingly more erotic than I thought it would be, but thats another story. Many responded to both. Everyone is different.  I went through a phase of trying to read things into what they liked but it's ultimately a waste of energy.  My advice is don't think about it to much, just go with whatever approach works.